| Cruising is better than ever. With more types of | | | | meatballs (which she sent back, complaining loudly |
| ships, more flexible vacation packages, better | | | | that the sauce was clearly not a long-simmered |
| deals, exotic ports of call, and lots of enthusiasts, | | | | homemade type). Not only were dinners |
| you may wonder why anyone would say they | | | | nerve-wracking, our table got a bad reputation |
| don't like cruising. But the fact is, a lot of people | | | | among the servers who dreaded coming near us. |
| do not enjoy cruises. How can that be? It has to | | | | While you should expect to enjoy your dining |
| do with how you frame your attitude and make | | | | companions, have an escape route planned in case |
| your preparations. | | | | you end up dealing with unpleasant people. |
| My first cruise was, surprisingly, one of the | | | | 4. Go on the cruise but refuse to participate. Don't |
| disaster voyages. It took years before I ventured | | | | go outside of your room; watch TV inside instead. |
| on a cruise again, and today I'm a wild-eyed | | | | Don't walk the deck, visit the shops, check out |
| enthusiast. What transpired in-between is that I | | | | the casino. Begrudgingly allow yourself to be |
| learned that there are things you can do to "set | | | | dragged out on rare occasions but protest |
| yourself up" for a great vacation or an absolutely | | | | constantly. Whine that you're unhappy. People with |
| miserable time. | | | | that kind of attitude almost never have a good |
| From my own experience and those of other | | | | cruise. If you're like that by nature, you need to |
| cruise-haters I know, here are seven ways to be | | | | get an attitude adjustment before you board the |
| sure you hate your cruise vacation. | | | | ship. |
| 1. Travel with somebody who is incompatible. | | | | 5. Sign up for a cruise but then decide to go on a |
| Incompatible people are not bad people. They | | | | radical financial diet the moment you board the |
| may even be your friends and family. But part of | | | | ship. Refuse to pay for an excursion, buy a soft |
| the cruise experience is doing a lot of on-board | | | | drink, or get a pedicure. Gripe loudly and |
| and shore things. These things are more fun | | | | constantly about how expensive things are and |
| when you do them together, as a couple or as a | | | | that you had no idea that an umbrella drink or a |
| group. So if you're a non-smoker and teetotaler, | | | | T-shirt was not part of the package. Sit on the |
| it's not a good idea to go on a cruise with a group | | | | ship while it's at port just to show everybody you |
| of friends who intend on drinking and partying | | | | won't pay one nickel more than you have to. |
| their way from port to port. | | | | Cruises are a great value, but you need to |
| 2. Travel with a companion who will refuse to do | | | | expect to spend some money on the ship. |
| anything you want and will insist that either you | | | | 6. Develop a temporary case of being stupid. |
| do what she wants or you go off by yourself | | | | Decide that since you're on a cruise ship, you can |
| (while she pouts). Cruises offer a lot of things to | | | | sit in the sun for 12 hours without sunscreen and |
| do and some of their ideas of amusement (bingo, | | | | not get sunburned (what? Sunburn on a ship?) |
| shows, casinos, spas, rock-climbing walls, Pilates | | | | Drink excessively and stay out in the hot sun. |
| class, mini-golf, sunbathing, etc.) may not be | | | | Leave your wallet unattended in crowded areas. |
| exactly what you've longed your whole life to do. | | | | While cruising is, in general, safe and fun, you |
| If you travel with somebody who won't ever | | | | cannot throw your common sense overboard. |
| accompany you when you want to do something, | | | | 7. Go unprepared. The cruise vacation can be |
| you'll spend most of your cruise either sitting | | | | very forgiving in this way. You can bring the |
| around, resenting that person, or doing things | | | | wrong clothes and still squeak by. You can forget |
| alone (not much fun). | | | | certain toiletry items and pick them up on-board. |
| 3. Go on a cruise where you have to sit with the | | | | You can get help for a lot of things, but there are |
| same people for dinner every night. Granted, | | | | certain things that you must look after yourself. |
| most of the time, the group who dines together | | | | Do not forget your passport (but keep it with |
| is a source of great memories and pleasure for | | | | you and do not put it in your luggage--you and |
| most cruises. Ninety percent of the time, I came | | | | your luggage get on the ship separately). Bring |
| to love the group I shared meals with, even if we | | | | cash for tips. If you need to take prescription or |
| were strangers at our first dinner. But once in a | | | | over-the-counter drugs regularly, bring plenty for |
| while you can wind up with a group that makes | | | | the trip and a couple more besides. Don't forget |
| meal times unpleasant. Think it can't happen? I | | | | things like eyeglasses, hearing aids, car keys, |
| once shared a table with a little old lady whose | | | | house keys, and important phone numbers. |
| main pleasure on the cruise was thinking up odd | | | | The most memorable, wonderful cruises are not |
| things she wanted for dinner and ordering them. | | | | always the ones that afford you the fanciest |
| This lady submitted her unusual order at the very | | | | stateroom or take you to the most spectacular |
| last minute, although she fully expected to eat | | | | destinations. They're the cruises where you travel |
| with the rest of the table (and she had to, | | | | with like-minded people who are interested in |
| because the ship had two seatings in the dining | | | | taking advantage of what cruises have to offer, |
| room and we had to all be out at a specific time). | | | | are compatible and generous traveling |
| It was her version of "stump the kitchen," and | | | | companions, and make you laugh. If you wind up |
| she would giggle about how funny it was to get | | | | having to share too much time with the |
| the wait staff and kitchen to jump through hoops. | | | | obnoxious or just the simply incompatible ... have |
| On steak night, she ordered spaghetti and | | | | an escape route in mind. |