| In the case of divorce due to infidelity, the | | | | marriage in general now. Do you want it or not? |
| divorce is usually instantaneous and often | | | | If you do, this is the time to put in all the effort |
| thoughtless. In the case of mutual incompatibility, | | | | that you can and try to patch things up. Include |
| the divorce happens after a long time spent in | | | | your partner in the analysis if he or she is open to |
| fruitless attempts of ‘patching up’ from | | | | it, but do not force it. Take criticism as it comes |
| both sides, it may happen even after a decade or | | | | -- these are difficult times and not the best |
| more of marriage. | | | | moment for self-righteousness. If you have not |
| But whatever the reasons, can divorce be | | | | tried very hard to maintain your relation, you |
| prevented? That is sometimes literally the million | | | | have to tighten up your belt now, before all is lost. |
| dollar question, and everyone wishes they knew | | | | Talking it Out |
| the answer. There is no magic formula of saving | | | | One of the most important and effective |
| a marriage. There are only a series of attempts | | | | methods of salvaging a marriage is by discussing |
| one can make to the best of one’s capacity. | | | | the problems openly with your spouse. It may be |
| But the basic requirement in preventing a divorce | | | | difficult to swallow your pride, but if you fear |
| is sincerity. If there is a half-hearted effort behind | | | | divorce, be the initiator for such talks. A lot of |
| it all, it will show through the expensive gifts, | | | | hidden hurt, anger and resentment may surface in |
| lavish parties and exotic vacations. So before | | | | the course of these discussions and get resolved. |
| making any moves, one should think over it all, | | | | If your partner has been cheating you, it is better |
| and if divorce is really better, there is no point in | | | | if you get to know that than wait till you chance |
| trying to salvage a dead marriage which no one | | | | upon them or a neighbour tells you. If your |
| wants. | | | | partner finds you incompatible, again, this is a |
| Understanding the Signals | | | | chance to at least know about the grievances. |
| What are the signs of an impending divorce? | | | | The Old Charm |
| Once again, there is no way of averaging these | | | | Where is the old charm gone? Work it for all you |
| matters and finding easy assumptions. But if you | | | | are worth, be lavish, be refined, be outrageous, |
| really know your mate well, you will know what is | | | | be romantic, but in all your efforts, be sincere. Go |
| being told to you with or without words. Some of | | | | for weekend trips or, if you can both find the |
| the common signs of divorce are as follows: | | | | time, for a vacation. People often open up more |
| - There is a general lack of communication. It | | | | when out of the confines of the house. Spend |
| means that your wavelength is not matching | | | | more quality time together, share meals – |
| anymore and you do not see eye to eye in most | | | | both formal and informal, try to enjoy physical |
| matters. If you have been completely unaware of | | | | relations, and don’t take the children along |
| anything wrong in your marriage, that is the | | | | each time you go anywhere. Treat this phase as |
| worst sign of all. | | | | your second courtship, it is just as serious. |
| - Losing interest in joint activities, having meals | | | | Starting a Family and Having Children |
| together and other details that make up our daily | | | | For many couples, children are the healing touch, |
| habits is also a big hint. | | | | the perfect consummation of marriage. If your |
| - Is your partner trying to avoid you, or is he or | | | | partner has been inclined that way, then this is |
| she hiding something from you? | | | | the time to start a family of your own. |
| - Has your partner lost all interest in children? | | | | Professional Marriage Counsellors |
| - Is your partner digging up excuses to explain | | | | When your efforts are not enough, do not |
| sudden disappearances, delays etc? | | | | hesitate to go for professional help. Marriage |
| Analysing the Situation | | | | counsellors are an acceptable idea now, and you |
| This analysis can happen alone or together, as the | | | | may end up saving your marriage. If your partner |
| situation demands. But you need to think over the | | | | is unwilling, go yourself. |